you fucking suck. i hate you. your fat and ugly. you fail all the time. you will never be good enough. stop making excuses. get your ass up and moving. stop eating. stop feeling sorry for yourself. do something about it. do something right not. stop saying your going to do it, fuck up and give up. stick it out. i promise when that day comes you will be truly happy.
Alright alright, besides that.
I have just...well I don't know what the fuck I'm doing to be honest. I managed the ABC diet for all of ten days... fuck. I suck. I've been like binging hard.. like literally eating without thinking at all. I've been buying a lot of food..which means its usually fast food. Just now I had pasta, red bull and yogurt. I've been eating sugar like its air. So many little treats around my house cause its effing Christmas time (EVEN THOUGH CHRISTMAS MAKES ME EXTREMELY HAPPY) I have no excuses. I've just been unfocused and waaaaaaaaaaaaay to lenient with myself. So my plan to be skinny and happy at my boxing day party will probably fail.. Maybe I can be skinny and pretty for the concert I'm going to in April? that gives me a good 4 months. If I can't make a change in that time..then I should just.. I don't know. Jump off a bridge? Get hit by a train? I do not want to be this way forever. I can feel myself getting so flabby. At least when I was playing multiple sports I was strong and muscular. Mind you I was still flabby here and there but my body had a good use. Now, I'm just playing baseball. Yes, it is the lazy man's sport. I basically exercise once a week..but now that's stopping because of Christmas break... WHY DO I HAVE NO WILL POWER OR SELF DISCIPLINE?! I miss my text message buddy :( I want her to start texting me again ! She kept me motivated.
I think I will do some crunches or sit ups right now.
someone please tell me I can do this
and Santa..Please bring me a boyfriend.. I don't want to be alone anymore..
