bigbliss

Im watching say yes to the dress : big bliss.  pretty much a nicer word for fat people. I feel like im going to need to be on that show. Lastnight the first night of my starting new diet i was doing well and then I went to my friends house and they ordered pizza.  ofcourse i do not like pizza toppings at all including the cheese.  so I just rip it all off and eat the bread... haha , so a few less calories right?  today was alright. I had ceral and wasnt hungry but then i got bored and was watching weedding shows and they had all the food and cake and what not so i had some veggie soup and crackers and then later i had a medium ice cofffe from mcdonalds. its the only thing i make an exception for from my "no fast food" rule its a 1.12 right now haha . anyways,  i made maccaroni but didnt eat any cause it was gross..but now im going to a party later tonnight which means alcohol.........................i fail .



once again.

beenawhile

Jesus,  Its like I just fell off the face of the earth.  All motivation out the window. So much shit went down in the last few months I lost complete focus on my one goal. losing weight. im back now ! 
In the past 3 weeks I think I've done the worst damage.  I recently got into a relationship . Nicest boy ever ! (: but the more comfortable I get around the more I start to eat.  I need to NOT eat.  Ive been writing down everything im eating... and it makes me feel more and more disgusting the more shit i put on the list.   I have a really ugly stomach now cause the of the massive food baby that is sitting in there. I was doing the gym like almost everyday there but for some reason that started to dimish . its hard to get up and do it everyday . .but nothing is easy.   I need to get my eating under control first then move onto excersise.  if i do it all at once I will fail.  baby steps...... Here we go.

the dream...