Monday, February 7, 2011

struggles

Today was easy? Suprise Suprise!
I started out at work with a tea :) coconut chai ! yum! then by the time my break came around my stomach was yelling at me. So I gave in :( .... I had oatmeal which was 250.  So total cals till about 5pm was 260.  I think thats pretty good.  then I came home napped almost went on a junk food binge because every single fucking time I wake from my lovely slumbers I'm extremely grumpy and I crave sugar or bread. Just fatty foods. I just saw the most beautiful girl on PT ever. is that creepy? Anyways she had some before and after pics.. I want to be her after. so so bad. I see so much before and after and it makes me so depressed.  I want to put some up and have girls be like.  I want to be her.  Anyways,  I ran with my friend today came home and ATE! it wasnt garbaage at all.. acutally... the 3 crackers adn 3 skimmings of cheese were a little more then I wanted.. but my dad was hovering wondering why I was only eating 3 Strawberries, 5 cherrie tomatoes, 6 slices of cucumber, 8grapes... so I had to put some sort of carb on there.... sigh. I dont want to know how much that was.  my friend wanted to go out to get icecream after.. it just seems like such a waste.  I went bought my blizzard . cookiedough. from DQ. then I put it in my cup holder and drove around for a bit . She finished hers.  I tried to have one bite to prove I was eating it but it did not go down well at all. felt like I was swallowing a huge lump.  anyways, it ended up melting but she didnt notice. so I got home and just chucked it out :) Suprise Suprise!



tomorrow is a new day.  I will do better tomorrow.
and fuck my weight is fluxuating again! 

I was 140.3 like 2hrs ago.  now im 141.

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