stop

beautiful.

Tonight was disgusting. I know I keep complain/talking about wanting to be thin and now I really just have to get up and do it. I mean going to an all you can eat joint isn't going to help.. although it was sushi... so it wasn't like super fatty foods, but sushi isn't as healthy as everyone thinks. I wish it was.. then I would and could literally eat it everyday. I don't know if you have noticed by now but I'm slightly obsessed with legs. Skinny legs is the one thing I wish for most... then arms then stomach.. I often wonder if this goal is even possible for me. I have no self discipline at all and that's just sad. I also wonder if when I am happy with the way my body looks then I will maybe possibly get a boyfriend? or even like a boy or have a boy like me... I sound like I'm twelve or something and hoping for a crush.. but goodness it has been so long.. since I've liked anyone.. I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.. literally. I'm going to be one of those people who goes to speed dating, has like profiles on 90 different dating websites and never has children. I don't like kids all that much now, but I would like to have some.... I don't even know what I'm going on about anymore. Sorry.

can't love someone else till you love yourself..